On recognizing my sins
Way back when I used to think that one sinned less as they matured (not necessarily “aged”): I pictured a uniform, upward slope of one’s sanctification, one’s living for God. Later I came to realize that God’s testing, life’s events, or my failures caused that upward path to be composed of hills and valleys, some of the latter very deep; thus a zig-zag graph, but still generally upward.
At the advanced age of 63, I realize how naive these representations were. I now picture my sin’s committed graph as horizontal; that is, I commit as many sins today as I did yesterday, and, as a matter of fact, as how many I committed 20, 30, or 40 years ago.
The only difference being that whereas I used to be unaware of many of my sins, now that I am more “mature” I am more sensitive to them. And hopefully I do something about them after committing them, confess, seek forgiveness.
If this is true, and I believe so, it helps better explain the lives of God’s spokesmen, those who so readily condemned their own behavior. They truly were saints, but they were able to see more of their sins, since they were closer to God. But concurrently, they also were able to appreciate God’s mercy (OT) and grace (NT) more.
If managed biblically, this mature recognition of one’s sins drives one closer to God, and that it good. It’s almost as if he had thought of that in advance–nice. Thanks Jesus.